The Life of a Sophmore

breakdown

Do you ever have those days when everything around you just makes you freak out even more than necessary? For the past two days I have been on such a short string, and I think I just completly lost it. I can't handle this anymore, I swear to fucking god I can't take this bullshit anymore. All I want is someone to talk to..........but there is no one there,I wish that I could just break down and cry but my parents are home. Why the fuck do I feel so used all the time, all of my firends are just fuckers that want to use me. I feel so alone. I'm so close to crying right now. But I now if I start I will never stop. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME. Why can't I act normal and be happy and shit like that. Why Do I feel like I'm gonna lose it?I'm fucking shaking now so badly. Something is deffinetly wrong with me.....................I'm not normal, I can't handle this anymore......I HATE THIS.

Colorado

In Boulder with my family, dropping my sister off at CU for her new college experience. This entire trip has sucked balls. Last night I called Eunice pratically crying. Last night was the worst night ever. ever. My family is ripping apart in front of my eyes, and there is nothing I can do to stop it. Anyway, on a happier note, Hotaru, you are one of the most talented writers I have ever read from. Seriously, that is major talent hon. The way you write..........its just amazing, Im soooo proud of you!!! You should post some more of your writing, it is amazing. I miss you all so much, really all I want to do is go home. I want to get AWAY. I need to be with you guys, I need some support and help right now. I love you all and Ill be home Saturday at 2. Have fun!

I'm alive

Well, sorries for not posting in so long, the internet doesnt work in my room so I have been using my moms computer instead whenever I can. I'm so bored as usual. I leave in 11 days for Cali and stuff......that should be fun...so much has happened in terms of love life but its way to hard/long to explains so Im not even going to try. Love ya!

Bored

SO fucking bored.......and I just got up.....anyway, I hate my cell phone, it doesn't get any service in my room and its pissing me off. But anyways, Eunice is coming over today and we're gonna catch up on all the stuff that has happened since we have last seen each other. There is no food at my house, I have been living off of slim fasts and water. There is something wrong with this.....But anywho, Im bored. someone please call me.

Marathon......

So, still at Ash's house doing the marathon thing. Its been sooooooooo much fun watching movies with your friends and talking about random shit for 48 hours. I havn't gotten that much sleep, considering I got woken up at 7 this morning because of someone who decided to call me as soon as he woke up...But its all good!!!